Calm, cooperative, and self-directed children do not emerge from louder commands, smarter rewards, or harsher punishments; they emerge from well-designed systems that align attachment, neuroscience, culture, and responsibility. Drawing from Japanese parenting philosophies such as ikuji, shitsuke, gaman, and mimamoru, alongside modern brain science and developmental psychology, the work reframes discipline as environmental infrastructure rather than behavioral control. It demonstrates how predictable routines, emotionally regulated adults, meaningful work, restrained intervention, and dignity-preserving repair train the nervous system toward self-regulation and social harmony—especially for neurodiverse children. In contrast to reactive, fear-based models common worldwide, the approach shows that behavior is biology in motion, independence is born from security, and sustainable calm is constructed collectively, not enforced individually.