Many people are perceived as unapproachable due to their natural resting face, often called Resting [ __ ] Face (RBF) or “perma frown”, even when they feel perfectly fine. This misinterpretation stems from muscle activity, facial structure, and subconscious social biases. While non-surgical solutions like Botox, fillers, and facial exercises can help, surgical options like a grin lift offer more permanent results. However, the most powerful solution lies in confidence, self-awareness, and engagement—simple changes in posture, gaze, and expression can make a big difference. Ultimately, perception is subjective, and the best approach is to choose what makes you feel most comfortable and authentic. Whether embracing your natural expression or making adjustments, self-confidence is the key to being truly approachable.
How to Look More Approachable and Engaged
Introduction
Intended Audience
This article is for individuals who are often told that they look angry, upset, or unapproachable, even when they are in a neutral or good mood. Many people experience this issue without realizing it, and it can impact their personal and professional interactions. If you’ve ever been asked, “Are you okay?” or told, “You look upset,” even when you feel fine, this article will help you understand why and what you can do about it.
Purpose of the Article
Facial expressions play a significant role in communication, often conveying emotions before words are spoken. However, some people naturally have a neutral resting expression that can be misinterpreted as stern, unfriendly, or unapproachable.
This article aims to:
- Explain the science behind “Resting [ __ ] Face” (RBF) or “perma frown.” Many people are unaware that their facial muscles and structure contribute to how others perceive them. Understanding the underlying factors can help in making informed decisions about potential changes.
- Explore the causes of an unintentionally stern or grumpy appearance. Facial anatomy, muscle activity, aging, and even daily habits contribute to a facial expression that may seem unwelcoming. Identifying the root cause can help determine the best approach to softening one’s expression.
- Provide non-surgical and surgical solutions to achieve a more pleasant and approachable expression. For those who wish to modify their resting face, various options are available, from simple exercises and Botox to minor cosmetic procedures. This article will outline these choices in detail.
- Suggest natural techniques for improving facial expressiveness. Not everyone wants to undergo procedures to alter their appearance, and for many, simple behavioral adjustments and facial exercises can make a significant difference.
By the end of this article, you will have a comprehensive understanding of why your resting expression may be perceived as unapproachable and what actionable steps you can take to create a more open, engaging presence—whether through natural techniques, non-invasive treatments, or minor surgical interventions.
Understanding the Resting Face
Facial expressions are a fundamental aspect of human communication, shaping how we interact with others and how they perceive us. While some people naturally have an inviting and warm resting expression, others may appear stern, disinterested, or even irritated—even when they feel perfectly content. This phenomenon, often referred to as “Resting [ __ ] Face” (RBF) or a “perma frown,” can lead to misunderstandings in both personal and professional settings.
Definition of RBF and “Perma Frown”
Resting [ __ ] Face (RBF)
RBF describes a neutral facial expression that unintentionally appears angry, annoyed, or displeased. It is a term commonly used to explain why some people, when at rest, seem to be conveying negative emotions despite feeling neutral or even happy on the inside.
- RBF is not an actual frown but rather an expression that subtly conveys emotions like contempt, disapproval, or irritation, even when the person is not experiencing those emotions.
- Studies using facial recognition software have confirmed that faces with RBF register more signs of emotion—primarily contempt—compared to a truly neutral face.
Perma Frown
A “perma frown” is a more specific type of RBF in which the corners of the mouth naturally turn downward, creating the appearance of a chronic frown. Unlike RBF, which can manifest in multiple ways (e.g., furrowed brows, downcast eyes), a perma frown is primarily centered around the mouth area.
The Impact of Facial Expressions on Social Interactions and Perceptions
Whether we realize it or not, our resting facial expressions influence how others engage with us. A face that appears stern or distant can create barriers to communication, leading to unintended consequences in various aspects of life.
Personal Relationships
- People with RBF or a perma frown may be perceived as less approachable, making it harder to form new friendships or connections.
- Close friends or family members might frequently ask, “Are you upset?” or “What’s wrong?” leading to frustration and misunderstandings.
- A neutral but stern-looking face can unintentionally push people away, making social interactions less warm and engaging.
Professional Environment
- In the workplace, a perceived lack of warmth can impact teamwork, networking, and leadership opportunities.
- Employers, clients, or colleagues may interpret an unfriendly resting expression as disinterest, frustration, or arrogance.
- Individuals in customer-facing roles may receive feedback about appearing unapproachable, affecting their professional image and career growth.
Mental and Emotional Toll
- Constantly being misunderstood can lead to self-consciousness, frustration, or even social anxiety.
- Some people overcompensate by forcing a smile or altering their expressions, which can feel unnatural and exhausting over time.
- It can lead to lower self-confidence and reluctance to engage in social interactions.
Common Misconceptions—Why a Neutral Face Is Often Misinterpreted
Many people with RBF or a perma frown feel unfairly judged based on their natural facial structure. The misinterpretation of neutral expressions is often rooted in psychological and cultural factors:
- The Brain Is Wired to Detect Emotions
- Humans are naturally inclined to interpret facial expressions as emotional cues.
- When an expression is ambiguous, the brain tends to err on the side of caution, often assuming negative emotions rather than neutrality.
- Cultural and Social Expectations
- In many cultures, there is an expectation that people should appear friendly, engaged, and expressive at all times.
- People who don’t smile frequently may be viewed as unfriendly or unapproachable, even if they are simply neutral or reserved.
- The Influence of Media and Beauty Standards
- Popular media often portrays positive characters with bright, open, and smiling expressions.
- A neutral or serious face is sometimes associated with negativity, leading to unconscious bias in real-world interactions.
- Differences in Facial Anatomy
- Some individuals naturally have features that contribute to a downturned mouth, furrowed brow, or heavy-lidded eyes, giving the illusion of a frown even when at rest.
- Others have higher or more lifted facial features, making them appear naturally more cheerful.
A resting face that appears unfriendly or unapproachable is not a reflection of a person’s true emotions or personality. Understanding the reasons behind this misperception can help individuals make informed decisions about whether they wish to adjust their resting expression through natural techniques, cosmetic treatments, or simply embracing their natural look.
The Science Behind Resting Face
Facial expressions play a crucial role in human communication, and even when a face is at rest, others may interpret subtle muscle patterns as emotions. Scientific studies have explored why some people have a neutral facial expression that appears unfriendly or stern and how this impacts social interactions.
Facial Recognition Studies: The Science of Hidden Emotions
Advancements in artificial intelligence (AI) and facial recognition software have provided insights into how facial expressions, even in a neutral state, can convey unintended emotions.
- AI-Driven Facial Recognition and RBF
Researchers have used AI-based facial recognition software to analyze faces and detect underlying micro-expressions—subtle muscle movements that indicate emotions.
- A 2016 study by the behavioral research company Noldus Information Technology found that faces perceived as neutral typically register about 3% of underlying emotions when analyzed using AI.
- In contrast, individuals with Resting [ __ ] Face (RBF) often show nearly 6% underlying emotions, primarily associated with contempt or displeasure.
- This suggests that even a neutral face may unconsciously trigger an emotional response in others due to subtle cues that mimic negative expressions.
- How RBF Differs from a Typical Neutral Expression
A truly neutral face displays a balance of relaxed muscle activity, conveying neither positive nor negative emotions. However, in people with RBF or a “perma frown,” certain features contribute to an unintended expression:
- Downturned mouth corners mimic the look of disapproval or sadness.
- Slightly furrowed brows give the illusion of frustration or deep thought.
- Eyes that appear narrowed or intense can make someone seem irritated, even when they are not.
- Asymmetrical facial features can create an unintentional smirk or scowl.
Even though these characteristics are not deliberate, others may unconsciously interpret them as signals of discontent or aloofness.
Psychological and Social Effects of RBF
RBF does more than just influence appearance—it affects how people interact with those who have it. Social perception is deeply rooted in evolutionary psychology, where facial expressions serve as cues for emotional states and social intent.
- How RBF Affects Personal and Professional Interactions
People with RBF may face challenges in various aspects of life, including relationships, work, and social settings.
Personal Relationships
- Friends, family, and strangers may frequently ask, “Are you upset?” or “Why do you look mad?”
- A perceived lack of warmth can lead to misunderstandings and social isolation.
- Some individuals overcompensate by forcing a smile or adopting exaggerated expressions to appear more approachable, which can feel unnatural or exhausting.
Professional Environment
- Networking and career advancement may be affected if others see a neutral face as disinterest or arrogance.
- Colleagues or clients may hesitate to approach someone with RBF, limiting collaboration and teamwork.
- Leadership roles may be impacted, as approachability is often associated with trustworthiness and influence.
- The Subconscious Bias Toward Stern Facial Features
People tend to form first impressions quickly, often within milliseconds of seeing someone’s face. When someone has RBF, unconscious biases may affect how they are perceived and treated.
The “Approachability Bias”
- Studies show that humans are naturally drawn to warm and expressive faces, interpreting them as friendly and trustworthy.
- Faces with RBF, on the other hand, may be subconsciously categorized as less approachable or more dominant, leading to a reserved or distant response from others.
Evolutionary Psychology and Social Judgments
- Historically, facial expressions signaled friendship or threat, helping early humans determine trustworthiness.
- People with a neutral expression that resembles anger or contempt may unintentionally trigger a defensive reaction in others.
The science behind RBF confirms that it is more than just an anecdotal phenomenon—it has measurable effects on social perception and interaction. Understanding why RBF occurs can help individuals decide whether they wish to adjust their resting expression using natural techniques, cosmetic interventions, or simply embracing their neutral look.
Causes of a Perma Frown
A “perma frown” refers to a naturally downturned expression where the corners of the mouth appear to be pulled downward, creating an unintentional look of sadness, disapproval, or frustration. This can be caused by a combination of muscle activity, facial structure, aging, and lifestyle factors. Understanding these causes can help in finding the right approach to achieving a more neutral or pleasant resting expression.
- Muscle and Structural Factors
- Muscle Hyperactivity: The Overactive Depressor Anguli Oris (DAO) Muscle
One of the primary contributors to a perma frown is the depressor anguli oris (DAO) muscle—a small, triangular muscle that extends from the corners of the mouth down to the jawline.
- The DAO muscle’s primary function is to pull the corners of the mouth downward when expressing sadness, seriousness, or displeasure.
- In some individuals, this muscle becomes chronically overactive, maintaining a slight downward pull even when the face is at rest.
- Over time, this can create deepened marionette lines (creases that extend from the corners of the mouth downward), further reinforcing a sad or stern expression.
Who is more likely to experience this?
- People who frequently frown or purse their lips (due to habit or stress).
- Individuals with naturally strong DAO muscles.
- Those who experience muscle imbalances due to facial asymmetry.
- Facial Anatomy: The Role of Bone Structure and Muscle Tone
Facial bone structure and natural muscle tone play a significant role in how expressions are perceived. Some people have facial features that naturally create a downward tilt to the mouth or a more severe resting expression.
Key anatomical factors that contribute to a perma frown:
- Downward-slanting oral commissures (mouth corners): Some individuals have a natural downward slope at the edges of the mouth due to genetics.
- Jaw structure: A retruded (receding) chin or weak jawline can cause the lower face to appear less defined, leading to sagging around the mouth.
- Prominent nasolabial folds: Deep lines running from the nose to the mouth can pull the mid-face downward, making the mouth corners look lower.
These structural elements can make a neutral expression appear unintentionally sad or stern, even when relaxed.
- Loss of Upper Lip Tension: The Imbalance Between Upper and Lower Facial Muscles
The upper lip and lower lip work together to create facial balance. When the upper lip lacks tension or engagement, the lower face muscles (especially the DAO) dominate, pulling the mouth downward.
Why does this happen?
- Weak buccinator and orbicularis oris muscles (which help maintain lip tone) can allow gravity to pull the lower face downward.
- People who do not engage their upper lip muscles enough in speech or expressions may experience a drooping effect.
- A lack of soft palate support (often linked to poor oral posture or aging) can cause the whole lower face to sag over time.
- Aging and Lifestyle Contributions
- Loss of Collagen and Skin Elasticity
As we age, the skin naturally loses collagen and elastin, which are essential for maintaining firm, youthful skin.
- The loss of elasticity causes skin to sag, particularly around the mouth, jawline, and cheeks.
- As mid-face volume decreases, the skin around the mouth and chin loses its natural lift, exacerbating the appearance of a perma frown.
- Fat pads in the cheeks and around the mouth shift downward, reinforcing a drooping effect.
Even individuals who never had RBF or a perma frown in their youth may develop it over time due to age-related changes.
- Repetitive Facial Expressions and Muscle Memory
Facial expressions are formed by habitual muscle movements. If certain expressions are repeated frequently, they can leave a lasting imprint on the face.
- People who frequently frown, pout, or purse their lips may inadvertently strengthen the downward-pulling muscles over time.
- Overuse of the DAO muscle and mentalis muscle (chin area) can create a permanently tense, downward-pulled look.
- Even neutral expressions formed by habit (such as keeping lips slightly pursed) can create deep creases and an unintentional frown over time.
- Stress and Fatigue: The Emotional Toll on Facial Appearance
Chronic stress, fatigue, and emotional strain can significantly impact facial expressions.
- Tension in the face often leads to habitual frowning or a tightened jaw, reinforcing the perma frown.
- Fatigue causes facial muscles to slacken, which can make the mouth corners appear even lower.
- Cortisol (the stress hormone) breaks down collagen and contributes to premature aging, exacerbating the drooping effect.
Many people with high-stress lifestyles or demanding jobs develop an unconscious downward-set mouth due to constant facial tension.
A perma frown is not just about emotions—it is influenced by a complex interplay of muscle activity, facial anatomy, aging, and habitual expressions. By understanding the underlying causes, individuals can take proactive steps to counteract a perpetually stern expression through exercises, non-surgical treatments, or lifestyle changes.
Non-Surgical Solutions to Reverse a Perma Frown
If you’re looking to achieve a more pleasant and approachable facial expression without undergoing surgery, several non-invasive options can help. These methods range from Botox for muscle relaxation, dermal fillers for structural support, and facial exercises to retrain muscles and improve posture.
- Botox for Muscle Relaxation
One of the most effective non-surgical treatments for a perma frown is Botox (botulinum toxin). Botox works by temporarily relaxing the depressor anguli oris (DAO) muscle, which is responsible for pulling the corners of the mouth downward.
How Botox Works to Lift Mouth Corners
- Botox weakens the DAO muscle, preventing it from pulling the corners of the mouth down.
- As a result, the levator muscles (which lift the mouth corners) become more dominant, creating a naturally lifted appearance.
- The treatment is quick, virtually painless, and requires no downtime.
Typical Dosage and Treatment Expectations
- A typical Botox treatment for the DAO muscle involves 2 to 2.5 units per side (a total of 4-5 units).
- The procedure takes only 10-15 minutes, with minimal discomfort.
- Results become noticeable within 3-7 days, with full effects visible in about 2 weeks.
How Long Do Results Last?
- Botox results typically last 3-4 months before muscle movement gradually returns.
- To maintain results, regular touch-ups are recommended every few months.
Potential Side Effects
While Botox is a safe and FDA-approved treatment, some possible side effects include:
- Mild bruising or swelling at the injection site.
- Temporary weakness in nearby muscles, leading to a slightly unnatural smile if injected incorrectly.
- Rare cases of asymmetry, which can be corrected with a small touch-up.
Who is a good candidate?
- Individuals with a strong downward pull in the mouth corners caused by muscle hyperactivity.
- People who want subtle, natural-looking results without surgery.
- Dermal Fillers for Structural Support
Another effective non-surgical approach is dermal fillers, which add volume and support to areas that have lost structure due to aging. Fillers work particularly well when marionette lines (creases running from the mouth corners to the chin) contribute to a downturned mouth.
How Fillers Like Restylane or Juvederm Soften Marionette Lines
- Hyaluronic acid-based fillers (like Restylane, Juvederm, or Belotero) are injected into the marionette lines to add volume and smooth the area.
- This prevents the skin from folding downward, making the mouth corners look lifted and more youthful.
- In some cases, a small amount of filler is placed directly under the mouth corners to further support and elevate them.
The Benefits of Combining Fillers with Botox
- Botox reduces muscle activity, preventing further pulling.
- Fillers provide structural support, lifting and softening the appearance.
- Combination treatments yield the most natural and long-lasting improvements.
Longevity of Fillers and Maintenance Requirements
- The results of hyaluronic acid fillers last 6-12 months, depending on the product used and individual metabolism.
- Touch-ups may be needed once or twice a year to maintain results.
- The procedure takes about 30 minutes and has minimal downtime, with mild swelling and bruising resolving within a few days.
Who is a good candidate?
- Individuals with deep marionette lines or volume loss contributing to a downturned mouth.
- Those looking for subtle enhancement with natural-looking results.
- Facial Exercises & Posture Adjustments
For those who prefer a natural approach, facial exercises and posture adjustments can help retrain muscles, improve facial balance, and lift the mouth corners over time.
- Strengthening the Upper Lip to Counteract Downward Tension
- The upper lip muscles play a crucial role in balancing facial expressions.
- Weak upper lip muscles allow the lower face muscles to dominate, creating a downturned mouth.
Exercise: The Upper Lip Lift
- Step 1: Place your index fingers on the edges of your upper lip.
- Step 2: Gently pull the lip corners outward and upward toward the ears.
- Step 3: Hold for 10 seconds, relax, and repeat 10-15 times daily.
This exercise activates the buccinator and levator muscles, helping to create a more neutral or lifted resting face.
- Engaging the Buccinator Muscle for a Balanced Expression
The buccinator muscle (cheek muscle) helps create a wide, balanced smile and prevents sagging.
Exercise: The Smile Behind the Eyes
- Step 1: Imagine smiling with your eyes first, before moving your mouth.
- Step 2: Let the smile extend gently to your lips, but avoid over-smiling with the lower face.
- Step 3: Hold for 10 seconds, relax, and repeat 5-10 times daily.
- Correcting Head and Neck Posture to Naturally Lift the Face
Posture plays a critical role in how facial expressions appear. Poor posture can cause:
- Forward head posture, which tightens the neck muscles and pulls the lower face downward.
- Slouched shoulders, reinforcing a tired or frowning look.
Posture Fix: Chin Tuck Exercise
- Step 1: Sit or stand up straight with shoulders back.
- Step 2: Gently tuck the chin inward (like making a slight double chin).
- Step 3: Hold for 10 seconds, relax, and repeat 10 times daily.
This improves head alignment and reduces downward pulling on the lower face.
Non-surgical solutions provide effective, customizable ways to soften a perma frown and create a more welcoming expression. Whether through Botox, dermal fillers, or natural techniques, individuals can achieve a relaxed, approachable look without undergoing surgery.
Choosing the Right Approach
- For muscle-related frowning: Botox is the best option.
- For volume loss and deep creases: Fillers provide structural support.
- For natural, long-term improvement: Facial exercises and posture corrections help retrain expressions over time.
Surgical Solutions for Severe Cases of a Perma Frown
For individuals with deep-set, downturned mouth corners that do not respond to non-surgical treatments, a surgical grin lift (corner mouth lift) may be an effective long-term solution. This minor procedure removes excess skin at the mouth corners to create a subtly lifted, more neutral or pleasant expression.
- Grin Lift (Corner Mouth Lift)
The grin lift is a small surgical procedure designed to correct a perpetually downturned mouth by removing a tiny triangular section of skin from each corner of the lips. This procedure shortens and lifts the skin, repositioning the mouth corners into a more neutral or slightly upturned position.
How the Procedure Works
- Anesthesia:
- The grin lift is typically performed under local anesthesia (with or without sedation).
- The procedure is quick, lasting about 20-30 minutes per side.
- Surgical Technique:
- The surgeon makes small incisions at the corners of the mouth.
- A small wedge of skin is removed in a way that allows the mouth corners to be stitched together in a slightly higher position.
- Fine sutures (stitches) are used to close the incisions, ensuring a smooth transition between the natural lip and the newly lifted area.
- Healing and Recovery:
- Stitches are removed after 5-7 days, or they dissolve on their own.
- Swelling and mild bruising subside within 7-10 days.
- Most people can return to work within a week, though full healing can take a few months.
- Makeup can help conceal healing scars after the first few weeks.
Expected Results
- Immediate lift of the corners of the mouth.
- A happier, more neutral resting face rather than a constant frown.
- Permanent results, unlike Botox or fillers which require maintenance.
- Works well for people with deep marionette lines or excess skin at the mouth corners due to aging.
Pros and Cons of a Grin Lift
✅ Pros:
✔️ Long-term correction: Unlike Botox or fillers, this procedure provides permanent results.
✔️ Minimal downtime: Most people recover in about a week, with only minor swelling and discomfort.
✔️ Natural-looking improvement: When done by an experienced surgeon, the results are subtle yet effective.
❌ Cons:
⚠️ Scarring:
- Initially, scars may look like short lines extending from the corners of the mouth.
- They typically fade within a few months, but in some cases, they may remain slightly visible.
- Proper scar care (massaging, using silicone gel, and sun protection) can help minimize their appearance.
⚠️ Slight risk of asymmetry: If healing is uneven, one side may lift slightly higher than the other, requiring minor revision surgery.
⚠️ Expression changes: The procedure does not affect lip function, but the perceived smile at rest may be subtly altered.
Who Is a Good Candidate for a Grin Lift?
✔️ Individuals with severe downturned mouth corners that do not improve with Botox or fillers.
✔️ People who want a permanent fix rather than temporary treatments.
✔️ Older individuals experiencing sagging skin and deep marionette lines.
✔️ Those willing to accept minor scars in exchange for a lifted appearance.
The grin lift is a quick, effective, and permanent solution for individuals struggling with a constant frowning expression. While non-surgical options like Botox and fillers work well for many, surgery provides lasting results for those with significant sagging or anatomical concerns.
Other Cosmetic Procedures to Enhance Facial Expression
While a grin lift (corner mouth lift) specifically addresses downturned mouth corners, other cosmetic procedures can enhance facial harmony, lip shape, and overall approachability. These procedures range from lip lifts to more invasive surgical interventions, depending on the severity of the issue and personal aesthetic goals.
- Other Cosmetic Procedures
- Lip Lift for a More Youthful and Upturned Smile
A lip lift is a minor surgical procedure that shortens the distance between the upper lip and the nose, creating a fuller, more youthful look. It can help individuals who feel their upper lip appears too long, thin, or lacks definition.
Types of Lip Lifts:
🔹 Subnasal “Bullhorn” Lip Lift: The most common type, where a small strip of skin is removed from beneath the nose to raise the upper lip and expose more of the pink part of the lip.
🔹 Corner Lip Lift: Similar to a grin lift but focused on reshaping the entire upper lip, making the mouth appear naturally uplifted and less severe.
Procedure and Recovery:
- Takes about 30-45 minutes under local anesthesia.
- Stitches are removed within a week.
- Results are permanent, but mild swelling lasts for 1-2 weeks.
- Scarring is hidden beneath the nose crease or at the mouth corners, making it barely noticeable over time.
Who Benefits from a Lip Lift?
✔️ Those with a long, flat upper lip that creates a serious expression.
✔️ People whose upper lip hides their teeth when smiling, making their face appear less engaged.
✔️ Individuals looking for a permanent alternative to lip fillers.
- Buccal Fat Removal for a Slimmer, More Defined Lower Face
Some individuals with a naturally full or round lower face may feel their features contribute to a perpetually neutral or heavy look. Buccal fat removal is a minimally invasive surgery that reduces excess fat in the cheeks, creating a more sculpted and defined jawline.
Procedure Details:
- Performed under local anesthesia in about 30 minutes.
- A small incision is made inside the mouth, so there are no visible scars.
- Results become more apparent over 3-6 months as swelling decreases.
Who Benefits from Buccal Fat Removal?
✔️ Those with a round or puffy lower face that gives the appearance of a downturned expression.
✔️ Individuals seeking a more defined jawline and cheek contour.
⚠️ Caution:
- This procedure is not recommended for older individuals experiencing natural fat loss, as it can lead to premature aging over time.
- Thread Lifts for a Subtle, Non-Surgical Face Lift
For those not ready for surgery but looking for a mild lifting effect, a thread lift may be an alternative. This procedure uses biodegradable threads inserted under the skin to physically lift sagging areas, including:
✔️ The mouth corners
✔️ The cheeks
✔️ The jawline
Procedure and Recovery:
- Done under local anesthesia in 30-45 minutes.
- Threads stimulate collagen production over time, leading to gradual skin tightening.
- Minimal downtime—most people resume normal activities in 1-2 days.
- Results last 1-2 years, requiring maintenance treatments.
- When Surgery Might Be Necessary vs. Non-Surgical Options
Not everyone needs surgery to achieve a more pleasant and inviting facial expression. Here’s how to decide:
✅ Consider Non-Surgical Methods First If:
- You are under 40 and your concerns are mild (Botox, fillers, and thread lifts may be sufficient).
- Your expression changes significantly when you smile, but you dislike your neutral face.
- You want temporary or adjustable solutions before committing to surgery.
✅ Surgery Might Be Necessary If:
- Your mouth corners droop significantly, making you look perpetually sad or angry.
- You have deep marionette lines and sagging skin that do not improve with non-invasive treatments.
- You want long-term results rather than repeated maintenance treatments.
Final Thoughts
While Botox, fillers, and facial exercises can help many individuals soften their resting face, some may benefit from more permanent surgical options like a grin lift, lip lift, or buccal fat removal. Each procedure should be carefully considered based on age, facial anatomy, and personal goals.
The “Smile Behind the Eyes” Technique
Many people who struggle with an unintentionally stern, tired, or unapproachable resting face focus too much on trying to lift the corners of their mouth. However, a more effective way to create a pleasant, inviting expression is by engaging the upper lip and eyes. The “Smile Behind the Eyes” technique helps achieve this by focusing on lip widening, upper lip engagement, and natural facial relaxation.
- Why Engaging the Upper Lip Matters
Most people associate smiling with lifting the mouth corners, but this can sometimes create an unnatural or forced appearance. Instead, a balanced, natural-looking smile comes from engaging the upper lip and eye muscles, which:
✔️ Prevents the mouth corners from being pulled downward.
✔️ Creates a more youthful and friendly expression.
✔️ Gives subtle warmth to the face without exaggeration.
People with a perma frown or RBF often have a limp or under-engaged upper lip, allowing the lower face muscles to dominate. By strengthening and widening the upper lip, the entire mouth and eye area appear naturally lifted, even when at rest.
- Correcting a Limp Upper Lip
Instead of simply pulling the corners of the mouth upward, the key to improving a resting face is to:
1️⃣ Widen the upper lip: Focus on stretching the upper lip slightly outward rather than just lifting the mouth corners.
2️⃣ Engage the cheek muscles: Subtly activate the buccinator muscle (the muscle in the mid-cheek area) to create a supportive lift.
3️⃣ Avoid excessive zygomatic activation: The zygomatic muscle (responsible for raising the cheek) can sometimes create an unnatural grin when overused.
💡 Think of it this way: Instead of forcing a big toothy grin, aim for a soft, engaged upper lip and relaxed, smiling eyes.
- Practical Exercises to Achieve a More Pleasant Expression Naturally
Practicing these simple exercises can help retrain facial muscles to adopt a friendlier, more open resting face over time.
- Upper Lip Widening Exercise
🔹 Purpose: Activates the upper lip and cheek muscles for a lifted appearance.
🔹 How to Do It:
- Relax your mouth and place your index fingers at the outer edges of your upper lip.
- Gently pull outward (not upward) to widen the upper lip.
- Hold for 10 seconds, then release.
- Repeat 5-10 times per session, twice daily.
✅ Over time, this will strengthen the upper lip muscles, preventing the lower lip from pulling the mouth downward.
- “Soft Smile” Eye Activation
🔹 Purpose: Engages the orbicularis oculi muscle to create warmth in the eyes.
🔹 How to Do It:
- Without moving your mouth, try to create a slight tension around the eyes, as if you are about to smile.
- Imagine a gentle, happy feeling behind your eyes.
- Hold for 10-15 seconds and then relax.
- Repeat 5 times per session.
✅ This technique creates the illusion of a natural smile, even when your lips are neutral.
- The “Cheek Lift Hold”
🔹 Purpose: Strengthens the mid-face muscles to counteract downward pulling.
🔹 How to Do It:
- Place your fingertips on your cheekbones.
- Gently lift the cheeks upward, as if mimicking a smile.
- Hold for 10 seconds, then release.
- Repeat 10 times.
✅ Strengthening these muscles helps prevent a permanent frown and promotes a more neutral, yet friendly resting face.
- Mirror Feedback Training
🔹 Purpose: Helps you recognize how minor facial changes impact expression perception.
🔹 How to Do It:
- Look at yourself in the mirror in a neutral state.
- Try different expressions, including a subtle lip widening and a “smile behind the eyes”.
- Take pictures of yourself in different relaxed states to understand how small adjustments impact how you look.
- Over time, train your face to naturally rest in a more neutral, pleasant state.
✅ This technique helps build awareness of how facial posture affects first impressions.
- Additional Tips to Enhance a More Approachable Look
📌 1. Adjust Your Gaze:
- Looking slightly upward when talking to people makes your eyes appear more open and engaged.
- Avoid a downward gaze, as it can make you look more serious or stern.
📌 2. Strategic Makeup Techniques (For Women):
- Use highlighter on the cheekbones to create a lifted effect.
- Apply eyeliner with a slight upward flick to make eyes appear more open.
- Avoid dark lipstick on downward-angled lips, as it can accentuate a frown.
📌 3. Stay Hydrated and Well-Rested:
- Fatigue and dehydration can make facial muscles appear tense and heavy, reinforcing a stern expression.
📌 4. Be Mindful of Your Facial Posture:
- Holding tension in the jaw or forehead can contribute to an unintentionally intense resting face.
- Check in with yourself throughout the day to ensure your face is relaxed.
By practicing lip widening, eye engagement, and cheek activation, individuals can train their face to appear more open and approachable naturally. Unlike Botox or surgery, these exercises and techniques offer long-term benefits without external intervention.
Additional Lifestyle & Beauty Tips
While facial exercises and cosmetic procedures can help create a more pleasant resting face, daily habits and beauty techniques also play a major role in how others perceive you. Simple adjustments in eye contact, makeup, and stress management can naturally enhance an approachable, friendly appearance without drastic changes.
- Eye Contact & Gaze Awareness
One of the easiest ways to appear more engaged and welcoming is to adjust your gaze and eye contact. People with Resting [ __ ] Face (RBF) or a “perma frown” often have a downcast or intense gaze, which can unintentionally make them seem unapproachable.
- Adjusting Your Gaze to Appear More Open
👁️ Look slightly above eye level when speaking with others—this makes your eyes appear more open and engaged.
🚫 Avoid looking downward too often, as this can make your face appear more serious or tired.
😐 Keep a neutral, relaxed expression when listening rather than furrowing your brow.
💡 Tip: Try the “Soft Focus” technique—instead of staring intensely, let your gaze be gentle and relaxed while maintaining engagement.
- Makeup Tricks (for Women) to Lift and Brighten the Face
Makeup can be a powerful tool for correcting features that contribute to an unintentionally stern or tired expression. Strategic highlighting, contouring, and eyeliner application can help create a more lifted, friendly look.
- Eyeliner and Eye Makeup to Lift the Eyes
✅ Apply eyeliner with a slight upward flick at the outer corners—this lifts the eyes, counteracting a naturally downturned appearance.
✅ Use a soft brown or taupe shadow in the crease to add depth without looking harsh.
✅ Avoid heavy black liner on the lower waterline, as this can make the eyes look smaller and droopier.
- Highlighter & Contour for a Lifted Look
💡 Apply highlighter to the tops of the cheekbones and under the brows—this creates an instant lifted effect.
💡 Use a light touch of blush on the apples of the cheeks, blending upward to create a more youthful, fresh appearance.
💡 Avoid contouring too heavily downward, as this can exaggerate a frown.
- Lipstick Colors Matter!
🚫 Dark, cool-toned lip colors (deep browns, purples) can make the lips appear more downturned.
✅ Warmer, peachy or pink-based tones can create a softer, friendlier look.
- Mindfulness & Stress Reduction: Easing Facial Tension Over Time
Chronic stress and tension can contribute to a naturally stern or tired appearance, making relaxation techniques essential. Many people unknowingly hold tension in their forehead, jaw, and mouth, reinforcing a frowning or severe expression.
- Relaxing Facial Muscles Throughout the Day
🔹 Check in with your face multiple times a day—are your brow and jaw tense?
🔹 Take deep breaths and consciously relax the muscles around your eyes, mouth, and forehead.
🔹 Try progressive muscle relaxation, starting at the forehead and working your way down.
💡 Quick trick: Place the tip of your tongue on the roof of your mouth just behind your front teeth—this automatically relaxes the lower face!
- The Role of Sleep and Hydration
😴 Lack of sleep can lead to droopy, fatigued facial muscles, making RBF more noticeable.
💧 Staying hydrated keeps skin and muscles firm and lifted, helping maintain a fresh, friendly expression.
✅ Aim for 7-9 hours of quality sleep per night.
✅ Drink plenty of water to keep facial tissues plump and youthful.
By combining eye contact awareness, strategic makeup techniques, and stress-reducing habits, individuals can naturally enhance their resting expression without medical intervention. Small, mindful adjustments in daily life can lead to a more open, warm, and approachable appearance over time.
Embracing Your Natural Expression
While there are many techniques and treatments available to soften a stern resting face, one of the most powerful approaches is confidence in your natural expression. The way you carry yourself, how you interact with others, and your level of self-acceptance all shape how people perceive you—often more than your facial structure or muscle tone.
- The Power of Confidence in Owning Your Appearance
At the heart of every expression is self-perception. When you feel comfortable and assured in your presence, others tend to interpret your face as strong, intriguing, or charismatic, rather than stern or unapproachable.
- Changing the Narrative About Your Expression
Instead of viewing your natural expression as a problem, consider reframing it as:
✔ A signature look that sets you apart.
✔ A resting face that conveys intelligence, depth, or quiet confidence.
✔ A neutral expression that doesn’t mean anything negative—it’s just your face!
💡 Reminder: Many well-respected and admired individuals—from actors to business leaders—have serious resting faces, yet their confidence makes them engaging and magnetic.
- When (and If) Changing Your Look Should Matter
It’s okay to want to adjust your expression if it affects social interactions, professional experiences, or self-confidence. However, changes should always be for yourself—not because of outside pressure.
- Ask Yourself These Questions:
🤔 Is my resting face truly affecting my daily life, or is it just a minor concern?
🤔 Do I want to make changes for myself, or am I responding to outside opinions?
🤔 Would small adjustments (like better posture or engaging my eyes more) be enough, or do I want more lasting solutions?
There is no right or wrong answer—only what feels best for you.
💡 Key Insight: You don’t need to force yourself to smile constantly—a genuine, well-timed smile has far more impact than a strained or artificial one.
- The Importance of Authenticity
Whether you decide to embrace your natural expression or make subtle enhancements, the key is to stay true to yourself.
- Choosing Between Self-Acceptance or Subtle Enhancement
✔ If you love your natural face, focus on confidence-building and letting go of self-consciousness.
✔ If you want to make subtle changes, explore facial exercises, makeup techniques, or minor treatments that make you feel your best.
✔ If you want more significant changes, consider procedures only if they align with your personal comfort and goals—not external expectations.
💡 Final Thought: The most attractive and approachable people aren’t those with perfectly shaped smiles or lifted expressions—they are those who are comfortable in their own skin. Confidence, warmth, and authenticity always shine through.
Final Words: Own Your Expression with Pride
Your resting face does not define your personality—your actions, words, and confidence do. Whether you choose to embrace it fully or make small changes, the most important thing is that you feel good about yourself.
So, own your expression, carry yourself with confidence, and let your presence speak louder than your resting face.
Conclusion: Embracing Your Expression with Confidence
Key Takeaways
✔ Resting Face is Natural: Many people have a neutral or downturned expression at rest—this is simply how facial muscles and bone structure work.
✔ Perception is Subjective: What one person sees as “unapproachable” might be interpreted by another as “calm” or “serious.”
✔ Multiple Solutions Exist: From facial exercises to medical treatments, options are available if you want to adjust your expression.
✔ Confidence is the Best Fix: No matter your facial structure, how you carry yourself and engage with others makes the biggest impact.
Perception is Subjective – Confidence is Key
At the end of the day, your resting face doesn’t define you—your expressions, interactions, and personality do. The way people perceive you is often more about them than about you. The best way to look more approachable is to feel approachable from within.
💡 Reminder: Many respected leaders, artists, and professionals have serious expressions—yet their confidence, warmth, and authenticity make them magnetic.
Choosing What Feels Right for You
Changing your resting face is a personal decision. Whether you choose:
✔ Acceptance – Embracing your natural expression with confidence.
✔ Minor Adjustments – Simple exercises, makeup techniques, or Botox/fillers.
✔ Surgical Solutions – If it aligns with your long-term goals.
The most important factor is that you make changes (or not) for yourself, not due to outside pressure.
Support Self-Confidence & Personal Empowerment
At MEDA Foundation, we believe in helping individuals build self-sufficiency, confidence, and opportunities for growth. Empowerment isn’t just about appearance—it’s about creating a world where people feel valued, included, and capable.
🌱 Support Our Mission: Help individuals embrace their potential.
🤝 Get Involved: Donate, volunteer, or spread awareness.
Your contribution helps create a world where self-confidence isn’t just about looks—it’s about strength, resilience, and opportunity. 😊
Book References
- “The Face: A Natural History” by Daniel McNeill
- “The Science of Facial Expression” by José-Miguel Fernández-Dols & James A. Russell
- “Emotions Revealed: Recognizing Faces and Feelings to Improve Communication and Emotional Life” by Paul Ekman